The truth is...Slow down!

(This is no criticism of anyone I love)
I log into facebook and my news feed is filled with acquaintances with new pics of their bellies, or newborns, etc.
My roommate/bestfriend has a 6 month old baby.
My 18year old sister is getting married.
I always tell Marqiese that I wanna get married, and have a baby.
Truth is...
I DONT!
Not right now.
Ashlea has to find a babysitter every time she wants to go do anything. She can't run out to her car unless she takes Kennedy with her. Don't get me wrong; Kennedy is beautiful and I have seen how much joy she has brought to Ashlea. But its crazy to me how life completely changes in just 9 months.
Shayla is getting married in April and at first I was jealous.
But I am no longer jealous.
Marqiese explained to me that hopes he has for our wedding, and it makes me wanna wait even longer.
I want something beautiful.
I dont want to have to sacrifice anything because I can't afford it.
Shayla and Daniel will have a beautiful wedding no doubt.
But I am glad I don't have to plan it.
I am glad Marqiese and I can pick up and go to Vegas for 5 days with no worries. School and work is enough for me.
By the time I have kids, I want to be stable; married, financially comfortable, have a home, etc.
Everyone says they dont want to be old when their kids are growing up. Well me either. But I also want to enjoy my young adult-hood!
If you love someone, and they love you, there is no rush!
SLOW DOWN!

You Don't Choose Your Family...

I have been here in Portland since Wednesday morning. My first day here was nice. I spent some time alone, thrift shopping. Then I had lunch with Shayla and her and I did some more thrift shopping. It was fun and relaxing. Every day after that has been annoying and frustrating. With little splashes of fun. My sister has been so stressed and grumpy that she smoked a
pack of cigarettes in less than 48 hours. That's a lot to me! My dad likes to have the answers to everything and that gets old...
The most irritating thing this whole trip has been the family expectations. Most people don't have both sides of their family in the same town but I just got lucky I guess. I have both grandmothers breathing down my neck. on Friday my mom's mom bitched at shayla because I had been here since Wednesday and hadn't seen her yet! Well excuse the hell out of me! She knew I was in town! I just have to visit everyone and do all of these things before I leave and have had no
time to just relax. That's what I hate about coming to Oregon. The time I spent with my family on Friday was interesting. I felt like I didn't belong. Like I don't belong in the Kuntzmann family or the Callaway family. I am just so ready for my own family. I didn't think they were funny, mostly annoying... but there are all these expectations.
I just can't wait to go home to Texas. Where it's hot! And my friends are, and my family aren't. And my BOO especially. You can choose a lot of things in life but you can't choose your family...
&&That's the Truth of the Matter..

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Too much time on my hands...

I wish my parents would have taught me to be financially responsible. They both have so much debt and bad credit and have loans out for all sorts of things...and I am on that same road.

And it sucks.

I am starting school this next week at Wade College majoring in Merchandising Marketing. I will have my associates degree by May of next year and then by May of the following year I will have my Bachelors, if it even takes me that long. I went through this whole process of school crap. I was going to just go to Collin College and take summer classes and then transfer to UNT in January. Come to find out, and and all of my credits from The Art Institute do not fully transfer. Ain't that some shit?! So frustrating. They day I found that out I went and had a meeting with an admissions advisor, Julia, who was wonderful! All of my credits would transfer to Wade which put my more than 2 trimesters ahead of everyone else. Pretty exciting. So I have orientation on the 6th, and then I go to Oregon on the 7th and come home on the 13th...

I am so excited to go visit my Dad and Shayla. Then she is coming home with me so she will be living in Texas again and I am glad. Two of my best friends moved within like 2 weeks of each other. The only thing that sucks is that school starts on the 8th, so I will miss a few days right at the beginning, which reallly stinks.

I got into a stupid car wreck yesterday. I was pulling out of the parking lot and this stupid lady who had her blinker on to turn didnt turn, so she hit me. My car is barely drivable. I will be going to work and back and that is all until we can get it into the shop...

I already made a claim on her insurance so we'll see how long it will take to hear back from someone.

I am trying to decide if I should move into student housing in October, or continue living with Ashlea. I love living with her but I think living with other girls that go to my school would be really fun. I think that is the direction I am heading.

Things with Marqiese are just blahh. Not great not bad.

He wants me to be patient so he can trust me again. Then we might get back together. I am just trying to focus on myself, and school. He seems to be doing the same. We spend time together when its convenient for us, but other than that, just talk a little during the day. Its weird. I'd rather have him in my life a little bit, than not at all. Hmmph.

Vegas is in a little less than 2 months. I will be 21! and I will get to see my BEST FRIEND! I cannot wait. Its going to be an amazing trip.

Anyways.. Just home alone today. Craving some McDonalds.

&&Thats The Truth of the Matter